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I noticed that people here fear the silence. Hours of silence are interpreted here as a conspiracy. Maybe they are planning something big, maybe they are there doing the math on how to keep their ammunition for a long time and so on.
A miracle happened to me. I'm not afraid anymore. Most of the time. Yesterday I went to the small town nearby to buy a new computer. My computer crashed and if there's something I can't do without it's a computer even though most of the time I'm with the iPhone which is actually also a small computer but it's not the same.
I also took my neighbor who doesn't drive with me and together we felt very brave.
In one of the Zen books on my shelf I read the concept of the narrow corridor of fear. I remember then it helped me overcome my worries and concerns that always accompanied me. I think I crossed that corridor. My granddaughter asked me to make her the zucchini fritters she likes, tomorrow morning I will buy zucchini at the small store here that has everything and if the conditions permit I will go there again in the next few days.
In the meantime, Shabbat is relatively quiet except for a few rockets that were fired at the city of Ashdod, not far from where my grandchildren live.
I am glad to hear from you this morning Yael. C S Lewis in writing about war said "do not let your nerves lead you to think your predicament more abnormal than it really is". He was saying that ordinary life has to go on. Keep on with what you are doing in the way your are doing it. Never give up, which I know you wont.
ReplyDeleteI suppose that you just have to carry on with life, so have to find a way of doing that as normally as possible. I can understand why such a simple thing as silence could be worrying. I remember your granddaughter's love of your zucchini fritters from your more peaceful days.
ReplyDeleteIt is important to absorb yourself in important tasks, as a way of controlling fear. Absolutely true!
ReplyDeleteNot computers for me.. technology makes me sweaty and anxious. But perhaps training a Labrador puppy, or cooking for residents in the local shelter.
We seem to have the capacity to become accustomed to bad things over time. I hope that your bad times pass soon though.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you are not afraid most of the time Yael. I was listening to a woman this week who talks of putting on her invisibilty cloak that shields her from the harm out in the world. So pleased to hear from you and that you are trying to carry on as 'normal' .
ReplyDeleteYou are very brave. With so many unknowns, maintaining routines each day is very important. Difficult times call for Zen thinking. Stay safe. Tomorrow has got to be a better future.
ReplyDeleteSo glad to hear from you again. What else can you do. Be brave and carry on with your life. Take those fritters to your granddaughter.
ReplyDeleteTo overcome the fear and get through, we must face it, and you have done so. Thanks for posting again. Let us know how good are the fritters.
ReplyDeleteOvercoming fear applies to almost everything, but the fear of having a rocket fall on you takes a bit more 'overcoming'. Eating those fritters with your granddaughter will help.
ReplyDeleteI admire your courage, Yeal, and agree with Helen: it is good to feel that one has a tiny part of life one can control.
ReplyDeleteZen is a good way to deal with something so very unimaginable. Stay safe!
A philosophical outlook has arrived Yael, you can only live in the 'now' of time. Courgette fritters sound fine, I often make a tray of roasted vegetables for myself, when not cooking for the others. Hope your new computer will be easy to set up, they seem to come nowadays already to use immediately. X
ReplyDeleteThank you all. The zucchini fritters are already ready and will reach their destination tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteGood to hear from you. I'm glad you are being brave and keeping busy with your life.
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