I changed my mind. I will write here. I hope something coherent comes out because every time I start writing there is an alarm.
I write what is happaning with me here, but I always feel that I represent something bigger because this is not my private war. I am especially saddened by the stormy and large demonstrations against us all over the world and I feel helpless in the face of people's lack of understanding that we would never start such a war. What country would stand silently in the face of the murder and massacre of 1400 of its people, babies, children, innocent citizens.
In what world should a grandmother like me feel that she is risking her life when she drives for half an hour to bring her grandchildren candy and food. Yes, I did it again. Yesterday I made them the cheese fritters they like, pasta and Bolognese and a meat pie and I left. The roads are empty and it's even scarier. They are surprised every time I come and of course very happy. I don't stay there long, I'm constantly calculating when is the right time to leave before the rockets and so far I've succeeded.
The shower is also a small victory every time. I hear around me that I'm not the only one who is afraid that the roof will collapse on her head in the middle of the shower. How embarrassing. I was told not to take a shower on the round hour because on the round hour there is more chance of an alarm. Today I went to do the annual test for my car, something that in the past I paid someone to do it for me. Since on my birthday which was the day before the war started I promised myself to overcome my fears, I went by myself and it was easy. I was the only driver there, everyone is either the army or afraid and so I got through it in five minutes.
And thanks again to everyone who comments here and I apologize again that I still don't respond personally to the comments. And one more thing, I of course think in Hebrew and sometimes I use Google Translate when I'm not sure I wrote correctly, if there are sentences or some words that seem strange to you, blame Google. (I will deal with the rest of the charges later...).