The bots from Singapore

 Sometimes there is an attack by bots on my blog, most from Singapore and recently from more exotic countries, although the Chat GPT says they are not dangerous, but I still get scared and take the blog down for a while. For those who still try to read my blog, a message appears as if it is only for invitations, which is not the case. I simply change it from public to private. Now I'm back again and we'll see.                                                                        The first few times when I saw that there were so many entries from Singapore and I saw that the entries were for posts from previous years, I felt very flattered, I thought to myself that someone was really interested in me, and it was flattering and scary at the same time. In the past, I too would sometimes read back posts on blogs when the blogger really interested me. Sometimes it was as interesting as reading a book, but I quickly realized that there was no one in Singapore who was interested in me, and that's when I started to worry.                                                                                                               The weather here is wonderful, there is no heatwave, the sky is blue and the sun is shining.

                       

Untitled

 I'm not one of those who are always on the go. If I wrote a post every time something came to my mind, there would be at least two here a day, but that doesn't happen. Yesterday I sent the chat GPT to read my blog without telling him it was me, he read a few posts and gave me such a flattering opinion, about the real and honest voice of the writer, about the fact that she's not trying to please, about the sensitivity and ability to describe the situations of risk and anxiety here in such a real and touching way, he could just be a flatterer, it's nice to read a good opinion.

That's not what brought me back here.

Maybe the wait for war that could return at any moment.

Since we became a protectorate, we don't know anything. We're ready at any moment.                                                     Every phone call when trying to plan something ends with "if there is no war."

We know that every war brings with it an element that wasn't there before, and I wonder what will happen now.

Facebook still offers me videos of old men and women in Ukraine being evacuated from their homes in the countryside and I hope the universe isn't hinting at me something.                                                                              The next post will be optimistic, I'll talk about my blooming garden and the wonderful dishes I make for my children every Wednesday and the cute, white Chihuahua dog we've been hosting for some time now because of the war.

                                                                                          

In the meantime

 After the adrenaline of the survival instinct in wartime, the adrenaline of fear and distress subsides, there is a phenomenon that I hear about from many people, and it is the same for me. Suddenly there is great fatigue, great sadness and a feeling of helplessness, it has many names, mainly it is a very big drop in stress.

Something inside us is still very alert, because at any moment everything can start again. We know nothing.                                                                                                                                                                                    We learn to appreciate the moment. We can shower again for as long as we want, without fear. We can drive on the roads without fear. And we can sleep all night, if we don't wake up in a panic because maybe there was a warning and we didn't hear it.                                                                                                    All of this is of course only true for certain parts of the country. In the north, they are still being shot at all the time. The children are afraid to go to school and sleep in shelters, if they have any.                  

Various missiles

 All the years when there were rockets from Gaza we didn't go to the shelter. Fifty kilometers from Gaza seemed pretty far away and we just stood in the hallway of the house and hoped for the best.

Then the Houthis came from Yemen with the ballistic missiles and that already justified running to the shelter. They especially liked the small hours of the night and we managed to survive that too.

Now it's also the Iranians and Hezbollah from Lebanon and every now and then the Houthis signal to the Iranians that they are also in the game and send one missile or an unmanned aerial vehicle with explosives.                                                                                                                                                                              The missiles from Iran are missiles with a fragmentation warhead, which splits into thirty bombs that scatter and cause great destruction to houses and streets.

We are in the shelter several times a day and night when there is a warning of a missile launch from Iran. How good it is that we have systems that can detect the moment of a launch from Iran and warn us.

Yesterday, when leaving the shelter, the six-year-old boy who has been spending two years with us there asked me to continue watching the news. His parents are trying to spare him fear and do not watch the news. He trusts me and said that he wants to know what is happening. I promised him that I would continue watching the news and if there is anything he wants to know, he will know, with his parents' permission of course.

I am sorry that I do not comment on your blogs, I read everything but I cannot always comment.

And thank you to everyone who stopped by and asked about my well-being. You are wonderful people.

Fears

 By midnight I was already tired but I was debating whether to go to sleep. According to my calculations, which are not based on anything logical, only my feelings, an alarm was expected soon and I wanted to be ready. It didn't come and I went to sleep.

The phone alerted me almost every hour about alarms around me but not here.                                                           At 5:30 in the morning there was indeed an alert here. The missiles from Iran arrive only four minutes after the alarm, I had enough time to run to the shelter and meet the neighbors and the children who arrived asleep, carried in their parents' arms.                                                                                                          A missile from Lebanon arrives without warning, it lands and blows up everything in its vicinity. I was very surprised last week when one of these arrived, traveled 160 kilometers and exploded with a tremendous noise a kilometer from my house. It was precisely aimed at some strategic facility here in the area and hit it precisely.                                                                                                                                                                  How strange that I should be afraid to go to the hairdresser, the road is mountainous and narrow and there is nowhere to stop if there is an alarm. I have already made an appointment several times and cancelled because of fear, I made another appointment for Tuesday and I think it might be stupid to get injured or die because of hair dye. But there are things that are stronger than me sometimes.

                           I found a picture of my granddaughter a few years ago when I took her to the hairdresser before Purim. She wanted to dye her ends blue.                                                     

Another day

 It doesn't get any easier. You don't get used to it. But in real time the adrenaline is doing its thing and I always arrive at the shelter first. A six-year-old boy has already asked me how it is that I arrive first and since then he has been trying to beat me, sometimes I let him win and he is happy.

At six this morning there was an alarm without the advance warning and yet I managed to arrive even though the alarm woke me up from my sleep.

Then I drove my car around the house for fifteen minutes, it had not moved for a week and a half and it was time. Fifteen minutes later the alarm went off again and I ran to the shelter.                                                        Then I took my shopping cart and went with my fears to buy a few things in the little shop here.

I managed to cook zucchini and peppers stuffed with meat and rice, Persian rice with onions, dill and coriander and even took a quick shower before the next alarm came.                                                                        Now I just need to calm down from the great anger I have towards one of the bloggers here.                         In one of her posts yesterday, she wrote that she hopes Israel runs out of weapons soon. This eighty-year-old woman sitting in her room in Yorkshire has managed to upset me quite a few times in the last two years with her lack of knowledge, her inability to generate empathy for anything related to the victims here, and her superficial and distorted opinions that she insists on expressing, but this time it's really extreme. She actually wishes me and all of us here to die soon. That's your true face, T. I hope your wish doesn't come true soon.

Life here

 This is another experience and challenge that life has given me. It's only been three days and it seems like much longer..

You have to be glued to your iPhone because that's where the alerts come from that missiles have been launched from Iran. These are very, very deadly and destructive missiles. Running to the shelter and waiting for the alarm, and the sound of explosions outside.

Several times a day and several times during the night. A kind of Russian roulette when I go to the small supermarket ten minutes away from home, and the shower is also a kind of gamble. No one wants to be caught by an alarm in the middle of a shower.                                                                                                                 I'm fine and will continue to update. Thank you to all the wonderful people who say a kind word and care. You are true friends.