Thoughts in the middle of the night

 There are no goods and bads in this reality of ours nor will there be winners or losers although each side will have its own narrative to which it will stick. The experience of a victim is a difficult experience but we are all in fact victims in this situation, the Palestinians, us and the residents of Gaza. First of all we are victims of human nature who do not know how to give up, forgive and forget.

We are victims of history, of the life stories of our grandparents who had to give up a good and comfortable life elsewhere (Germany, Poland.) and flee here knowing that only here they might be safe, and the other side that his ancestors fled their homes during the war here. .

And all this because human nature cannot give up, forget and forgive.

 If someone had promised me, my children and my grandchildren a good and safe life elsewhere, I would have gone there right away.

I am willing to give a lot for peace and security.

There is still something asymmetrical and unbalanced in this story, we never just fired missiles at other people's houses, and yet most of the time we are the bad guys in the story, anyone who sends us arrows of criticism should think carefully about what he would do if his children and grandchildren Were under a barrage of missiles.

Our government officials do not hide in civilians' homes and hospitals because they know that there they will not be harmed, here they will never use civilians as human shields.

And yet it is so sad that it is impossible to produce understanding, compassion and peace among so many people who just want to live their lives in peace.

I'm a little tired after a night with little sleep because of the hundreds of missiles fired at so many settlements here. Quite a bit about where my grandchildren live.

I also feel I need to request a forgiveness from my grandfather, my uncle, my first husband and some of my good friends who were killed in the wars here, each in a different war at a different time, you gave your life for a place that for me is now not the safest place in the world.

, Wartime Therapy

 Cooking and cleaning.

It's still going on

 The last thing I need to do now is deal with cynical and a bit vicious comments from people on other blogs.

There is never symmetry when two sides are fighting and both are suffering, there is always someone who suffers more at a given time, my heart also hurts because of the innocent people of Gaza but I have to deal with my fears and anxieties here at this time.

I try to ignore the cynical and superficial comments and I myself do not understand why I care so much about them. I want to thank all the wonderful people in Blogland who respond in simple and warm words, you have no idea how important and helpful it is here.

I'm so glad that at least in my blog there are such wonderful people who know how to express compassion and say a good word. It also surprises me how important it is to me.

My daughter has been in the protected room of her house for four days and nights, just last night more than a hundred rockets were fired at her settlement.

The farthest they can go out is to the living room of the house and even then the ears and eyes are constantly open.

It's still quiet here but I hear a lot of explosions all the time and at night I can see the flashes of Iron Dome.

More of the same

 It will probably take a few more days in this round. until next time. It's more of the same thing that was already here. I think a thousand times if this is the right time to get in the shower because no one wants to get caught during an alarm in the middle of the shower. I am not going to the gardening center because if the alarm catches me on the way and I have to stop and lie on the ground I am not sure I will be able to get up easily. I of course can not travel to the grandchildren because they are right in the range of the missiles and it is dangerous. There was still no alarm here and if it will be I am not sure that the minute and a half I am supposed to get to the shelter would be enough for me. I do not remember when I last ran and probably I am no longer as fast as I used to be.

This too shall pass

The orange stripes on the TV show us exactly where the missiles will fall in a little while and who should hurry up and enter a protected place. I am 50 km from Gaza so I have a minute and a half to find shelter. I have no protected room and all I have left is to rely on miracles. My grandchildren are 45 km from Gaza and have 45 seconds until the missile falls. They have been sleeping for two nights in the protected room and of course do not go to school.

My daughter sent me pictures from the protected room, she and the cats and children are busy with their own. A lot of missiles fell around them yesterday.

 

The things I could write

My dad has written more than twenty books and I am unable to write even a few lines in a post. I used to be a member of a writing group that some of the members of it have become well-known writers here. That was more than thirty years ago. The writer David Grossman told me then that of all the members of the group I write the best and I should continue. From that time I stopped writing for some reason. Blogging is supposed to be something fun and I can not bring myself to do so. And here are some chapter headings for the posts I could write - the old letters in Yiddish that my grandmother's missing sisters wrote before their villages disappeared in Poland. The preparations for Seder night at my daughter's, the ancient coins she finds near the house. All this in the meantime in pictures.

 

 I removed the new post because I acted a little against my principle of not posting the pictures with the faces of my grandchildren. I just wanted to tell about the strange way they have been learning for almost a year. But there's nothing special about it, that's what everyone in the world does now. I know the post stays on the list of posts for a while so the first ones can still see the pictures. Happy weekend everyone.