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I think I found the answer to why I get so upset and comment so emotionally on such and such posts in Blogland.
I realized what role the blog plays in my life now.
I function well day by day, of course there is a cloud of slight anxiety and attention that accompanies me
But it doesn't have much emotional expression. The blog is where the emotions come out. The fear, the great anxiety, lack of acknowledgment, and the great need for a kind word and comfort.
Around me, in the place where I live, everyone feels the same, and most of the people I am with on a daily basis allow themselves very little expression of feelings in our daily life, it probably protects us. I probably attribute much more power to what people write than it really has, just because here on the blog the emotions work stronger. The great fear comes out, the anger, the helplessness, the deep concern, the lack of confessions, the helplessness, and the guilt.
I argue with comments on blogs and then won't sleep at night because of it. I'm not good at arguments, I have no experience with it in real life. Our life here has changed so much and it is impossible to know what the future will be here, I want to write about it, but it is clear to me that there will always be someone who will comment "yes, but what about Gaza?", yes, suffering is compared to suffering and I have nothing to do with it.
I'm glad you can express your feelings and thoughts here to share with us. I cannot judge you as I am not living your life. I just hope you and your family remain safe. And somehow you will have peace.
ReplyDeleteI felt that I was being judged, but I decided to explain things to myself in a different way.
DeleteI'm glad you read it. Arguments are so difficult for me. Everything is fine.
ReplyDeleteArguments on blogs are actually quite common.I don't like the idea of your losing sleep over it,though . Without making a long story out of it I will just tell you a simple solution - don't argue with them .If that
ReplyDeleteI, too, dislike entering into arguments as it makes my anxiety worse. If I see anything online that annoys or upsets me I just walk away from it. I hope that you will continue to write blog posts as you have friends here to support you.
ReplyDeleteI thought about stopping writing here but after realizing where my frustration comes from I continue. Thank you Jaycee.
DeleteSorry about that comment above this one,it was written by me,Mary . What I meant to add was that some people address us on blogs hoping to start an
ReplyDeleteargument, our giving them no attention, no reply may frustrate
them, if so, hopefully they will go elsewhere to get attention ..
May you be blessed with peace
in your heart,mind and life,Mary
Thank you Mary, I must have had a hard time dealing with judgment that was directed at me, for things that I have no control over. I got it and that's fine.
DeletePretend you have an impervious shield around you Yael, (water off a ducks back)
ReplyDeleteI hope you will speak whatever you want to us,Iwill appreciate anything you tell us. Its brave of you to do it.
Take care , Kathy
Thank you Kathy, I will use your advice.
DeleteYou have brought home to us what awful attacks you have to face daily, and how it has been going on for years. I thank you for this because it is mostly unsaid in the mainsteam media here which at present tends to focus on the dreadfulness in Gaza. The problem is, as I see it, and frightening as it is, that the rockets are not likely to stop, and nor are Hamas going to end their disgusting terror tactics or using people as human sheilds. This is the reality of how wars are conducted. I cannot imagine what it must be like to have to deal with these things. But, in the end, enemies have to draw the difficult line between compromise and capitulation. It would not be good for Israel to continue until deaths in Gaza reach the hundreds of thousands. I suppose I am indeed saying "but what about Gaza" along with "but what about all of it". I hope for you all that some kind of stability returns soon. Keep safe.
ReplyDeleteI am not very optimistic about the future. There does not seem to be a solution in sight and we are always threatened by danger from the northern border. I will continue to tell as much as I can.
DeleteYael, please know you have a friend in me, here in California. I pray you have some times of relaxation and peace in this difficult time. You are brave to share with us and I hope it is helpful for you to post your thoughts and feelings here.
ReplyDeleteThank you Terra for the support,
ReplyDeleteThis is a very wise and insightful post, thank you. It is important for you to get your feelings out and express yourself. Holding so much in only hurts you more. If you can get your feelings out here then please do so, at least to whatever degree you are comfortable with. I cannot imagine all you must be going through but I do care very much. I support you and your family.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for this Bonnie.
DeleteAnd one more thing, I deleted unnamed anonymous comments in previous posts or those that seemed fake to me or those that did not respect other members who commented on the blog. This is for you Traveler.
ReplyDeleteHey, Yael. I just want you to know that I care and I'm sorry for everything you're going through. If I could wave a magic wand, I would bring safety, security, and peace to all the innocents who suffer. Take care and please keep writing. xx
ReplyDeleteI will go on.
DeleteDear Yael, I feel so much with you. We can only try to imagine the horror and feel utterly helpless.
ReplyDeleteI read the argument with Tom - and I noticed what I feel happens so often in discussions among men and women: often a man argues with numbers and "facts" - when we want to be comforted, taken into the arms, and feel - if only for one minute - protected (and accepted, not having to defend us even then).
I am easily disturbed by arguments too - and this is why I do not write about politics. I take you into my arms, Yael.
You raised an interesting and correct point Britta, I didn't think about it, you're right, the interesting thing is that there were several women who hid behind Tom's back and gave him backup, indeed there was also such a struggle between a man and a woman, but I also had some facts...
DeleteI watched an interview yesterday with a Hamas supporter, and the interviewer asked her "what would you think if an army of drug-crazed terrorists attacked the Glastonbury festival, and began to slaughter the young people who were enjoying the music; would you want your country to do nothing?".
ReplyDeleteThe woman had no reply.
That's what I'm trying to say all the time, what would you do if this happened to you? How is it that so few people can understand?
ReplyDeleteOne word: resilience. Wirhout this your anger will never end.
DeleteI am sending you a hug....hope you can feel it?
ReplyDeleteThank you Frances.
DeleteSending love and hugs from Wales. sandy
ReplyDeleteI thank you very much
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHow could anybody be on the side of Hamas. I really feel for the horror you you are so close to. I just can’t imagine that worry every day. Just remember you have so many blog friends and dismiss the negative comments. Hugs Gigi
ReplyDeleteThank you Gigi, I'm glad you came here.
DeleteI am thinking of you every day, and I can´t imagine what you are going through. Please continue to tell us about your life and about your feelings.
ReplyDeleteHilde in Germany
Thank you Hilde, I will write soon.
ReplyDeleteSo write soon that I can read your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteHilde in Germany